Fly

I turned 24.

When I was little I used to climb up on the counter in the bathroom and half kneel by the sink in the mirror, estimating how tall I would be in my twenties. That little girl had so much expectation about who she would be.

The career- path dreams changed (first National Geographic employee, then dancer, then yoga-teacher, then journalist) but my desires remained the same, I wanted to create change.

The number of 24 suddenly struck me. Not because of its significance, but because of the significance of 25. Because I am approaching the height of expectation of the little girl I once was.

I know what you're thinking. I know I have time, years and years, I know I am young (blah, blah, blah).

But I want to reach that quarter-century and be building something that resembles a life.

I am tired of believing that my age makes my time, energy and emotions disposable. That because I am young I need to lead a life that is frivolous and have relationships to match.

In the past two years since moving to Toronto, I have been more of a "typical young-person" than ever in my life.

Gone was the girl who trained, sweat, bled, cried and lost sleep for her ambitions.

Instead, I tried on rebellion. I hung out with people who weren't good for me, I stayed home, ate bad food, didn't hand in my homework. I kissed girls, kissed boys who smoked cigarettes and pretended I didn't care. I went to Sneak-Dees (five whole times). And now, I stand at the other end, knee deep in self-resentment, realizing that angst isn't what its cracked up to be.

I was always a girl with a dream. And I still am.

But I am also now a woman who doesn't want to live in a dream world anymore. A woman who wants to make dreams into reality. Many of my dreams have come true, but I am ready to cash in on some of the big ones. The ones that felt so big that they were impossible, the dreams about the things that meant something to me. The ones about making change, about living in a way that makes me feel proud to wake up in the morning, about allowing myself to feel whole.

So, I've wiped my slate clean, cleaned skeletons from the closet.

I've been talking honestly for the first time ever. I've told people when they hurt me, when they angered me, when I felt negatively. And something magic happened: they didn't run, they didn't retaliate, they didn't leave or tell me to.

I've purged the old relationships and what-if's my heart was hanging on to and hoping for. I've sifted through old and new dreams and ambitions. I've studied old wounds and realized I don't want to use them as excuses to hold back anymore. I've reached out to old friends and new ones. I've taken a good long look in the mirror, at the mistakes and the messes I've created and realized I know how to clean them up and best get to it.

I stand now, and realize that I am ready to live. Really, really live.

I have a city of possibility.

A home.

Friends who are family.

In the past, I've had inspiration and vision, but for the first time I feel like I can clearly see my own potential. I see that I haven't risen to it. As I stood on the edge of achieving my dreams I was missing the faith in myself to take that final leap. Toward success, toward rewarding relationships and friendships, toward stability, intimacy and achievement, all the things that have for so long scared me.

But now, I am ready. Scared, but ready.

I'm going to jump.

If I don't land on the other side... well, then I might just discover I can fly.

Toronto's Coffee Conspiracy

In the last year, 22 independent coffee shops opened across the GTA. From Leslieville to the Junction and beyond has emerged a world where baristas are local celebrities, coffee is treated like fine wine, and buzz words like profile, crema and umami mark the average customer an expert.

Still for many, the world of independent coffee shops remains an intimidating world of overpriced beverages, haughty customers and judgmental staffers.

But a small group of shops led by Matt Taylor and Douglas Tiller of Queen Street's Mercury Coffee Bar, informally known as Toronto Coffee Conspiracy are seeking to change that. United by a mandate of education, cross promotion and community, they hope to breakdown the barriers between shops and bridge the gap between expert connoisseur and average customer.

“The idea is a collective of coffee shops that work together to promote and involve customers in certain events,” said Taylor. These events will include coffee tastings, or cuppings, signature drink events, and latte art competitions judged by customers.

“This is about explaining the difference between a latte and a cappuccino or experiencing the difference between a Guatemala Antigua and an Ethiopia YirgaCheffe,” said Taylor. “People can then start developing their palate and understand where we are coming from helping to eliminate exclusive sort of 'coffee snobbery'.”

The first initiative the collective will undertake is creating a Toronto based 'Disloyalty Card'. The premise, thought up by Gwyllin Davies, a London-based barista, creates incentive for customers to leave the comfort of their regular coffee haunt and visit others around the city.

A customer would redeem the card at one of the seven participating shops: Mercury Espresso Bar, Manic Coffee, Sam James Coffee Bar, Crema, Dark Horse Espresso Bar, Blondie's or Cherry Bomb. The customer would then travel to all other participating shops to redeem a stamp with the purchase of a drink. After visiting all seven locations, they would take the fully stamped card back to the shop they started at and receive a free beverage.

“We're promoting quality coffee around the city but also, in a way, promoting different neighborhoods that you might not normally visit,” said Taylor. The collective hopes to kick off the Disloyalty Card April 20th.

Tiller hopes that the collective will not only stimulate community among customers but also among shop owners. “Within most industries there is a sense of competition, rivalry, infighting and backstabbing,” he said. “ This [initiative] kind of stops that at the root.”

“It is about a camaraderie, about promoting good, fresh coffee and about promoting other people's shops because we aren't the only ones. It's showing that we don't hate them and they don't hate us,” said Tiller. He hopes as time moves on the collective will expand beyond the seven shops currently involved, “it's not about being an exclusive club, this can grow out from here.”

Allan Gardens

Located mere steps from the Ryerson Campus the Allan Gardens Conservatory is a rare gem in the downtown core of Toronto. Built in 1958, the historic site features six greenhouses that connect and intertwine to provide onlookers with 16,000 square feet of botanical displays.

“It’s impressive, Allan Gardens is a pretty sketchy park and [the conservatory] is surprising.” Luka Misolovic a second-year Biomedical Engineering student from Ryerson University who uses the conservatory for study breaks.

Open to the public free of charge, the six greenhouses each display different botanical themes. The main Palm House, constructed in 1910, contains tall banana palms, hibiscus and ginger plants. Other greenhouses include cacti displays, orchids, waterfalls and ponds that attract visitors of all ages and walks of life to unwind and find inspiration.

Maryanne Whiteman, a former journalist from Ottawa makes a point of always seeing the gardens on her visits to Toronto. For her, the seasonal shows remain a large attraction. “As a gardener it gives me ideas about what to buy and what I can do in my own garden,” she said. What she finds particularly unique about the space is its proximity to the downtown core and its accessibility to the public.

Misolovic agrees, “It’s an asset to the city.”

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*photos courtesy of gothereguide.com