Happiness

"Happiness hit her, like a bullet in the back." -Florence and the Machine

That is what life feels like lately.

Explosions of pure joy erupt in me like stars that illuminate the night sky. And like those celestial bodies those moments make me feel hope, a certain connection to divinity, like I AM on the right track, going in the right direction.

But like those stars I still find myself sinking in the lonely darkness of the night sky. And so I leap desperately, willing my patience, perseverance, and keenly trained perspective of positivity to carry me seamlessly toward the next bright light : a romance, an opportunity, a cherished moment with a friend, a perfect yoga class or dance, a well written line.

But there are too many times lately that I feel I miss and fail to make the next constellation connection to my starlit bliss. Instead I falter and fall, down to a place where I miss home, miss dancing, miss the yoga studio, miss my friends, miss being energetic, miss my sleep pattern miss the chance to write when I want to.

I then doubt myself, my path, my dreams and my resolve.

I continue to fall. doubt. pray. persevere.

Only to unexpectedly land on a new constellation, filled with a new elation that stretches perhaps farther than the last.

So I continue, leaping and praying, practicing and pushing, analyzing and reflecting, hoping that my leaps will become more consistent and my falls won't go down so far as I create my life's own constellation.