Forgive me.
I have taken you for granted. You have welcomed me with open arms and given me all things I need to live, to thrive, and yet I have spent all my time running from you. Since I have set foot on our soil I have turned my eyes skyward, and allowed myself to dream. Of New York and new possibilities, of Vancouver and creature comforts of home, of past adventures and ones to come, I boarded too many planes of separation. I became so saturated in my dream world that I forgot to look down, look ahead and take in the view.
But you never gave up, you tried even when I was ready, bags packed off for another whirlwind adventure taking my mind away from the firm footing you gave me to stand on. You sent me glimpses, in a soft wind that caressed nape of my neck, in the kindness of a stranger, the sparkle of the CN Tower, the vibrance of a neighborhood, or the joy of a raspberry stuffed croissant. In those moments I have been roused from my dream like slumber and have found a smile, exploding across my face and gratitude resonating within my chest.
Truth is, I don't know why I have resisted you.
You have given me all I need to create a recipe for my own growth and success. You have provided all the essential parts: support, friendship, safety, knowledge, opportunity (and good espresso) . Yet I sat unwilling to engage with my head in the clouds and my eyes on the stars.
Forgive me.
I pledge to you, that from now on things will be different. From now on TO, we will grow roots together, until I am rooted in you and you are imprinted in me. No more dreams or elaborate schemes of escape. This is our summer of love. Like a good lover, I pledge to stand by you, to embrace and accept you, to discover you — and all your secret spots. Most of all I pledge to let you in, to stand bare before you and allow you to get to know me too.
I'm excited, and I hope you are too.
Love
B
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