wake.up.

sometimes I wake up immediately.

sometimes a nudge slowly rolls from slumber to consciousness.

and lately I've been a sleep.

a sleep walker through life.
a-sleep at the creative wheel.
a sleep away from satisfaction.

obsessed
addicted
passionless.

a zombie hungering for the next check mark on the to-do list.

until the full moon intervened.

she illuminated the night sky

her light fell on my shoulders
gold down my back
silver up my neck
that started the shiver
that raised the goosebumps
that aroused me from sleep.

the sun spilled over the horizon
and the morning breeze blew the sheets of night away.

her light faded into the blue of day.

I exhaled.

she was the nudge.

and now I roll toward day

awake

alive

creeping toward creativity

pulsing with passion.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

So in moving to this East Coast city of mine, I realized that I have not once in my memory experienced a snow storm. Sure I've seen Vancouver pseudo-snow-storms that leave behind a slushy 10cm of snow, which leaves all West Coasters dumb and frozen with stupidity that nearly shuts down the city. But I have yet to witness a bona-fide scared-to-go-out-the-door, can't-see-you-hand-in-front-of-your-face, careful-or-you-might-freeze snowstorm. So while my other Torontonians are still bitter from the bite of last years winter that saw record snow falls, I am  jazzed that the thought that tonight, Weather Canada is predicting the first snow storm of the season.

I've got my boots, my gloves, and my game face on, ready for what promises to be an oh so fun night.

Oh! And apparently, there are blizzards around here too!! Exciting!!!

T Dot...

Finally, I hung my shelves today, a small yet personally significant (final) step to moving in. Moving in not only to my first apartment, but to my new city. A transition that is not as easy as I may have hoped it to be.

Being relatively well traveled, or at least, accustomed to traveling I assumed that moving to this city wouldn't be unlike traveling somewhere for a longer period of time. Yet this really isn't the case. For some reason there is so much more loneliness to moving, little things are what I miss.

Like calling someone just because...

Like having more than one option for things to do on a Friday night..

Like feeling home in company of a friend...

Like knowing there is someone's shoulder to cry on that is within physical reach...

Those are the small yet essential things that I find are really making things a little more challenging than expected.

Being new means that I have to pursue friendship with a new gusto. Every connection that feels nice means that I throw out my phone number like a fisherman, desperately hoping that someone might bite and call me back. That this time I make a friend worth keeping, and when calls aren't returned, while I don't feel rejected, I can't help but feel a little more lonely.

But its not all gloomy,

This city is far more alive than Vancouver wishes it could be. I've gone out a few times and though I haven't found the exact venue that suits my taste (more on my clubbing adventures next time), I know that its out there.

I've found a fabulous little butcher shop that makes incredible sausage, a mere 5 blocks from my new pad.

My program fits like a glove, every project seems easy because it is what I want to do, what I am inspired to do. Hopefully it is something that continues...

Hopefully life will continue to bloom here and I will truly feel at home sooner rather than later.

New Begginings..

Grocery shopping takes so much longer when you don't know the store, or haven't built up your own stores.

Stupid things rack up grocery bills, and suddenly I'm sweating over the price of Ziploc bags.

I have the blessing of living within a 5 block radius from a Loblaws (ie Superstore), Fiesta Farms (think halfway between Capers and Save On), and Street busy with independently owned small shops. Fresh is found easily, and best prices can be quickly compared, its ideal really.

My bedroom is nearing completion. I'm simply in need of a drill and level to hang my shelves and really get settled in. My room looks great thanks to my mom, IKEA and Homesense, the only downfall is the lack of natural light, fortunately there is a window that lets in fresh air.

So now, with a great pad, I am ready to set out and begin my journey...first day of school comes quickly.... more updates to come.....

T Dot...dot...dot...

I have arrived.

Random Thoughts...

I have traveled through so many cities as a visitor, knowing that my footprints would so soon be eroded by the hoards of folk whose paths would cross my own. But here, I realize that I am simply taking the first step of my just like it. The new subway route, that I will eventually sleepwalk through, finding the classroom that will become a second home, the new city that will become my own. I live here now, I dream here now, I happen here now... how strange it is.

I cried when I saw the first building that displayed "Ryerson" on the side of it, an iron affirmation that I had indeed made it..got in..stayed in...traveled..arrived...enrolled and now this is the vessel that will move me forward, and I couldn't be more happy that I have made it aboard.

And I am nervous beyond belief, nervous about independance, nervous about school, about really making this happen for myself. I am so sad, neausously sad, achingly sad to have left my nest, home, mom, family, friends, co-workers, students, loves, cafes, restraunts, Westcoast downpours, mountains, the sea bus, the sky train...and...and...

BUT

I realize that today is the first day of the rest of my life. For so long I have been dreaming, scheming of what the future holds for me but now I must leap, and reach for all the dreams that I have dreamed up.

I knid of like it here...