An ode to the sea.....

Today it is windy in the city.

The large trees outside my window dance in the night, the rhythm of the gusts inhale and exhale like the ocean. And just like that, with the even imitation of the profound body of water that has always spoken to me, my writing voice emerges.

I know it is my writing voice because it echos in my mind, strong, clear and free from the distraction of superfluous thought. I've missed its presence in my life. I've spent nights worried sick that the disconnect from vast bodies of water has caused my recent writing drought.

Like the writer in me went on strike over her heartache for the sea.

The ocean has always grounded me.

I feel like I can believe at the edge of a shore. Like I am part of something, like I understand, know and feel for the first time. Like I could believe in God (hell, I'd probably drink the kool-aid if I thought the waves told me to.)

As a young girl when my heart ached, my mom would take me somewhere beautiful. To me, the rhythmic breath of the ocean, with pebbles, gulls, crustaceans and sea-weed was the most beautiful of all.

I've had first kisses on the beach, I've swam until I wanted to sink, I've dove to 120 feet, caught salmon, cried, yelled and marvelled, I've made and fallen love. But never have I loved more deeply than I love the sea.

She taught me how to love the earth. I once dove deep into her waters, swam with the Wolfe-eels, jellyfish and anemones and surfaced to admire the curves of nearby mountains, smell pine trees and watch twilight paint the sky gold, peach and blue. Stars emerged like fireworks illuminating the sky with sparks of my new found passion for the earth.

By her side I am fearless, safe, happy, whole.

Her squalls never scare me; I've sat by her through hundred kilometre winds as she shook with rage: waves carving caves.

I've floated, slept, swam and boated.

It is only her depths that intimidate me. I wonder what she hides, doesn't confide, of her secret pains and pleasures, her innermost scars, the friends and the foes of which I'll never know.

And I miss her... every day I fight the drought, the dehydration of not being by her side. A lover love-sick I watch the clock tick-tock until I can sit, swim, sigh and scream on her shores.... silently sending affirmations that I will return to her side again.

Style in the City

Name: Sandy Kybartis

Occupation: Set Designer

Describe your style: " I don't think about it a lot. Classic, funky."

Favorite item in wardrobe: "A little Prada shrug with a fox collar"

What inspires your look in the morning: "How hard I have to work, how much I need to move around. If I will be on a construction site."






Name : Matt Davis

Occupation : Server

Describe your style: "Fierce and fabulous with classy edge."

Favorite item in wardrobe: "A watch-necklace that reminds me of my best friend in Australia, its my go-to accessory."

What inspires your look in the morning: "My agenda, whether it is work, and outing with friends

Fly

I turned 24.

When I was little I used to climb up on the counter in the bathroom and half kneel by the sink in the mirror, estimating how tall I would be in my twenties. That little girl had so much expectation about who she would be.

The career- path dreams changed (first National Geographic employee, then dancer, then yoga-teacher, then journalist) but my desires remained the same, I wanted to create change.

The number of 24 suddenly struck me. Not because of its significance, but because of the significance of 25. Because I am approaching the height of expectation of the little girl I once was.

I know what you're thinking. I know I have time, years and years, I know I am young (blah, blah, blah).

But I want to reach that quarter-century and be building something that resembles a life.

I am tired of believing that my age makes my time, energy and emotions disposable. That because I am young I need to lead a life that is frivolous and have relationships to match.

In the past two years since moving to Toronto, I have been more of a "typical young-person" than ever in my life.

Gone was the girl who trained, sweat, bled, cried and lost sleep for her ambitions.

Instead, I tried on rebellion. I hung out with people who weren't good for me, I stayed home, ate bad food, didn't hand in my homework. I kissed girls, kissed boys who smoked cigarettes and pretended I didn't care. I went to Sneak-Dees (five whole times). And now, I stand at the other end, knee deep in self-resentment, realizing that angst isn't what its cracked up to be.

I was always a girl with a dream. And I still am.

But I am also now a woman who doesn't want to live in a dream world anymore. A woman who wants to make dreams into reality. Many of my dreams have come true, but I am ready to cash in on some of the big ones. The ones that felt so big that they were impossible, the dreams about the things that meant something to me. The ones about making change, about living in a way that makes me feel proud to wake up in the morning, about allowing myself to feel whole.

So, I've wiped my slate clean, cleaned skeletons from the closet.

I've been talking honestly for the first time ever. I've told people when they hurt me, when they angered me, when I felt negatively. And something magic happened: they didn't run, they didn't retaliate, they didn't leave or tell me to.

I've purged the old relationships and what-if's my heart was hanging on to and hoping for. I've sifted through old and new dreams and ambitions. I've studied old wounds and realized I don't want to use them as excuses to hold back anymore. I've reached out to old friends and new ones. I've taken a good long look in the mirror, at the mistakes and the messes I've created and realized I know how to clean them up and best get to it.

I stand now, and realize that I am ready to live. Really, really live.

I have a city of possibility.

A home.

Friends who are family.

In the past, I've had inspiration and vision, but for the first time I feel like I can clearly see my own potential. I see that I haven't risen to it. As I stood on the edge of achieving my dreams I was missing the faith in myself to take that final leap. Toward success, toward rewarding relationships and friendships, toward stability, intimacy and achievement, all the things that have for so long scared me.

But now, I am ready. Scared, but ready.

I'm going to jump.

If I don't land on the other side... well, then I might just discover I can fly.

Toronto's Coffee Conspiracy

In the last year, 22 independent coffee shops opened across the GTA. From Leslieville to the Junction and beyond has emerged a world where baristas are local celebrities, coffee is treated like fine wine, and buzz words like profile, crema and umami mark the average customer an expert.

Still for many, the world of independent coffee shops remains an intimidating world of overpriced beverages, haughty customers and judgmental staffers.

But a small group of shops led by Matt Taylor and Douglas Tiller of Queen Street's Mercury Coffee Bar, informally known as Toronto Coffee Conspiracy are seeking to change that. United by a mandate of education, cross promotion and community, they hope to breakdown the barriers between shops and bridge the gap between expert connoisseur and average customer.

“The idea is a collective of coffee shops that work together to promote and involve customers in certain events,” said Taylor. These events will include coffee tastings, or cuppings, signature drink events, and latte art competitions judged by customers.

“This is about explaining the difference between a latte and a cappuccino or experiencing the difference between a Guatemala Antigua and an Ethiopia YirgaCheffe,” said Taylor. “People can then start developing their palate and understand where we are coming from helping to eliminate exclusive sort of 'coffee snobbery'.”

The first initiative the collective will undertake is creating a Toronto based 'Disloyalty Card'. The premise, thought up by Gwyllin Davies, a London-based barista, creates incentive for customers to leave the comfort of their regular coffee haunt and visit others around the city.

A customer would redeem the card at one of the seven participating shops: Mercury Espresso Bar, Manic Coffee, Sam James Coffee Bar, Crema, Dark Horse Espresso Bar, Blondie's or Cherry Bomb. The customer would then travel to all other participating shops to redeem a stamp with the purchase of a drink. After visiting all seven locations, they would take the fully stamped card back to the shop they started at and receive a free beverage.

“We're promoting quality coffee around the city but also, in a way, promoting different neighborhoods that you might not normally visit,” said Taylor. The collective hopes to kick off the Disloyalty Card April 20th.

Tiller hopes that the collective will not only stimulate community among customers but also among shop owners. “Within most industries there is a sense of competition, rivalry, infighting and backstabbing,” he said. “ This [initiative] kind of stops that at the root.”

“It is about a camaraderie, about promoting good, fresh coffee and about promoting other people's shops because we aren't the only ones. It's showing that we don't hate them and they don't hate us,” said Tiller. He hopes as time moves on the collective will expand beyond the seven shops currently involved, “it's not about being an exclusive club, this can grow out from here.”

Allan Gardens

Located mere steps from the Ryerson Campus the Allan Gardens Conservatory is a rare gem in the downtown core of Toronto. Built in 1958, the historic site features six greenhouses that connect and intertwine to provide onlookers with 16,000 square feet of botanical displays.

“It’s impressive, Allan Gardens is a pretty sketchy park and [the conservatory] is surprising.” Luka Misolovic a second-year Biomedical Engineering student from Ryerson University who uses the conservatory for study breaks.

Open to the public free of charge, the six greenhouses each display different botanical themes. The main Palm House, constructed in 1910, contains tall banana palms, hibiscus and ginger plants. Other greenhouses include cacti displays, orchids, waterfalls and ponds that attract visitors of all ages and walks of life to unwind and find inspiration.

Maryanne Whiteman, a former journalist from Ottawa makes a point of always seeing the gardens on her visits to Toronto. For her, the seasonal shows remain a large attraction. “As a gardener it gives me ideas about what to buy and what I can do in my own garden,” she said. What she finds particularly unique about the space is its proximity to the downtown core and its accessibility to the public.

Misolovic agrees, “It’s an asset to the city.”

View Larger Map

*photos courtesy of gothereguide.com

Style in the Streets of Toronto

"Even in the winter, I like to have a pop of colour," says Christine Colombo outside of Anthropoligie in Yorkville.
"This is me, this is my personality," said Carol Nardi, who chose this beautiful combination of fur for its stunning texture.

Style in the Streets of Toronto

Braving the cold streets of Yorkville, Cristina Ion pairs soft grays and peaches. We love the contrast between the strong boots, heavy wool and soft peach blouse.

Shirky and Herminda weigh in on the death of the newspaper

As print publications lie bleeding profits on their death bed the internet thrives as it redefines the way we consume media. Clay Shirky, a technology analyst at New York University, says the main issue with the way publications are adapting to the internet is their misguided idea that the organizational format of newspapers is transferable to the web.

Alfred Herminda, founding member of BBCnews.com and professor at the UBC Graduate School of Journalism says that the newspaper once provided convenience. It bundled information, from news to horoscopes and recipes and conveniently delivered it to your door.

"The impact of the internet is that it has unbundled the newspaper," said Herminda."Now you can customize and personalize content to your liking." This, paired with the quick pace of the internet means that the web has both diminished the value and newsworthiness of newspapers.

Herminda says that as journalism moves forward, it must push and reconsider the very role of the modern journalist. “The job should be less about simply gathering information it should be about contextualizing information, letting readers know why it matters and what it means,” he said.

Herminda and Shirky both agree that while journalism has not been devalued by the internet, the newspaper has. “We must think beyond the delivery mechanism and begin to view the newspaper as a concept,” said Herminda. “We must continually ask ourselves, 'does this concept continue to fulfill a need?”

A couple enjoys view of the Tuscan countryside outside Cortona, Barbora Simek, photo

Photos II

Photo Time

Online evolution

As the internet's presence continues to evolve and become more and more present in our lives, it also pushes the evolution of journalism. In a lecture at Ryerson University today Jim Rankin, journalist for the Toronto Star, explained the way that he has used the web to bring to life his story 'Crime and Punishment'.

Rather than writing a customary feature with the lengthy findings of a freedom of information request, Rankin turned his findings into a multimedia rich web feature.

Crime and Punishment features

• flash maps
• games
• interactive time-lines
  
• articles
• video
• graphs
  

In combination, these features come together to create an engaging experience for the eyes and ears. Rankin says using all that the web offers in form of video, photo, audio and visuals is important to online success. That, and good promotion.

"If you build it they won't come. Unless, they can find it"- Jim Rankin

Want them to find it? Turn to social media, he advises. For example, in order to promote their content the Toronto Star deploys:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube

Here is a peek at one of the award winning videos The Toronto Star and Rankin's team created for the project.





*photo of Jim Rankin courtesy of King's University

Naked ambition

Get ready to drop your trousers in the name of inner beauty, Canada. How To Look Good Naked, the popular British reality TV series, is coming to the great-white North. Aiming to reverse self-image and esteem issues in one inside-out make-over How to Look Good Naked Canada, will hit the airwaves weekly on the W Network. While long term results are not guaranteed, and highly questionable, the show is a step in a positive direction in a world that idealizes single-digit dress-sizes.

Following the tradition of the British series, each week host Zain Meghji and a team of "fashion experts" will lead one woman through a surgery-free makeover and a series of self-esteem building exercises. According to the W Network, by the end of each show one woman will have brought her "inner beauty outside," and drop all attachment to the "unobtainable bodies you see in the media". To show off their new lease on life the women will then participate in a nude photo shoot and walk down the runway in her intimates.

While its a tall order for a one hour episode to turn around years of bad self-esteem, it is refreshing to see reality TV attempt substance, and dare we say, social service.

How to Look Good Naked airs 10pm ET on the W Network

Economist hits hard at Harper

Rather than buying into the press releases of his "spin doctors," who claim Stephen Harper's recent prorogue is made on the behalf of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games, The Economist has provided their own beliefs about Harper's motivations in 'Harper goes prorogue'.
The article outlines the extensive benefits that Stephen Harper will gain from this recent political move. Among them, tabling 36 bills before the House of Commons, the dismantling of committees whose mandate is to scrutinize the recent blunders in Afghanistan and on climate change as well as giving Harper the opportunity to control the committees of the senate when Parliament re-forms in March.

DIY - Before and After

With a student sized budget, I have been trying to outfit my apartment as best as possible, still I won't settle for junk. Inspired by the DIY sections of the design blogs I have become addicted to, I decided to rescue some furniture from the backyard of my old apartment and create my own 'IKEA hack'.

Here below is the before and after, which I think turned out wonderfully!

Before...

After a good sanding, two coats of white varnish and two more of varnish. Finally, I took apart the smaller of the two pieces and then screwed the pieces down to the back of the shelves. Here is the result!

After...

Family Secrets

"What is that smell!?!" my roommate exclaimed poking her head around the corner from our hallway into the kitchen."I thought you were making cauliflower, not something that smells that good!" 

In our house cauliflower dinners were me and my brother's favorite, we developed stealthy skills to steal a piece or two away from my mom as she was cooking and always invited friends over for a taste of our mom's culinary genius. 

This week when my mom decided to air-mail a full head of organic cauliflower, I had to use it up quick and could think of no better way than making my mom's famous dish. Not only that, but I decided to document it so that I could share it with you all!

With no further ado:

Mom's Cauliflower

Ingredients:

A head of Cauliflower sectioned up

4 eggs

2-3 cups of breadcrumbs

1 1/2 cup of vegetable oil

Steps:

Place all the cauliflower into a pot and cover with water. Bring water to a boil and boil until cauliflower is tender, but not soft. You should be able to stick a fork in it without resistance, however watch that you don't boil it till it falls apart. The difference between the two extremes is about a minute in boiling time, so watch closely.

Remove from water when the cauliflower is done and allow to cool.

Prepare your egg wash, by beating the four eggs until you have an even consistency. Coat your cauliflower in egg and then transfer into the breadcrumbs. Cover the cauliflower in a small mound of breadcrumbs, pressing firmly on top. Take out your little 'tree' and toss it back and forth between your hands to remove any excess crumbs, and then place on the side. Repeat until you have all your cauliflower covered. 

In a pan, heat the vegetable oil on a medium heat (this is important so that your cauliflower doesn't burn) and fry your cauliflower until golden brown. Rotate the 'trees' as necessary trying to get them as evenly brown from all sides as possible.  When finished place on a paper towel to absorb excess oil. When you put the next batch of cauliflower in, remember that your oil will be even hotter so watch more closely that your breadcrumbs don't burn.

Serve with tartar sauce and potatoes. 

My mom used to just make boiled potatoes with caraway seeds, salt and melted butter. 

The tartar sauce I got once again from Chuck's Day Off, though I didn't use the arugula I still found that it turned out great! Here is the recipe below:

Tartar Sauce

• 4 tbsp mayonnaise
• 1 bunch arugula, chopped
• 1 large shallot, finely chopped
• 1 large dill pickle, chopped
• 1 tbsp capers, chopped
• 2 anchovies, minced

 

Tartar Sauce

1. Place 4 tablespoons of mayo in a bowl and add all your ingredients finely diced.
2. Mix together. Mixture should be green, chunky and not too runny.

 

Market Daze

My mom's black-currant jam left me eating cheese like it was going out of style last week. Not that I am complaining, each time I dug in to the good stuff I had the company of great friends, but I could do without the breakouts and subsequent guilt of living off brie.

I decided to turn repulsion into prepultion and finally make good on my summer-long-promise to go exploring and seek out the farmer's markets around the city.

I did a little research and found a comprehensive list of Farmer's Markets in

Toronto here at the Toronto Farmer's Market's website.

After teaching a 8:30am yoga class on Saturday, I made my way down to the St.Lawerence Farmer's Market, which hosts a market that has been going since 1803 and continues to run every Saturday 5am to 5pm. Finding it was slightly trickier than I thought, as the market happens in the North building and spills on to Church as opposed to happening in and around the main South building. Happily, I found it and spent a blissful hour walking around, meeting farmers and buying their amazing goods.

I forgot just how good peaches can taste!

Other surpises included the selection of Ontario grown melons, amazing olive oil vendors (where I picked up an amazing Black Olive Tapenade) and amish ladies selling the most beautiful of Dalia's .

I quickly acquired a decadent bunch of goodies in my bag and set off home to put them to good

use.

I used my purchase of green beans (yeah mom, I am eating beans!), new potatoes and farm fresh eggs in an amazing salad I had seen featured on Chuck's Day Off, a great new show on the Food Network. The show follows Chef Chuck Hughes, who whips up recipes for his friends on his 'days off ' from running his successful restaurant Garde - Manger, in Old Montreal.

His hands on, simple cooking style peaked my interests so I decided to give his 'Warm Potato Salad' a go and use up some of my green beans.

I did have to change things up a little in lieu of some of the ingredients. I made the dressing out of 1tsp of Dijon and 1/2 tsp of Yellow Mustard, instead of white wine vinegar I used a 1/8 cup of white vinegar and 1/8 cup of rice vinegar, finally, I switched up extra virgin olive oil for the canola. This recipe was such a success that I think Chuck is in the running to replace Jamie Oliver as my fav. new celebrity chef. Check out the recipe and more here.

My thoughts as of late have been dwelling on the issue of resentment. One of my particularity colorful employers posted a quote on our staff computer about the shackles that resentment imposes upon us. It read as follows:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

As I have moved through life and accumulated experience through my relationships, most of which have fallen apart in the most un-pleasant of ways (then again is there a pleasant way to fall apart?) I have also accumulated resentment to the heartaches of the past.

But as I received an email in the last week from one of the very exes it seemed to take forever to recover from, I started to think about the ways we chose to view our departed relationships. "This is completely innocent," he wrote, "but I wanted you to know that I still think about you."

I realized then that I had two options, to either get frustrated that I could still feel a pang of emotion toward the comment, or to graciously accept the compliment and smile for all the good that had existed between the two of us. I did the former.

Further, as I passed the apartment and epicenter of my most recent love-life fracture, I felt that nostalgic lurch in my stomach, and thought,' I can change this. '

If reality is nothing but a perception, then certainly we can chose the way that we perceive the very real things that tug at our hartstrings. For the longest time, I thought that being 'over' something or someone just meant no longer caring anymore. That in order to be healed and to move on I had to feel a complete dismemberment from events and players of my past. But as I move forward, I realize that thats just not me. I will forever care.

Whether its about the boy who still declined to date me after I made (oh god, I can't belive I am admitting this on the internet) a secret admirer puzzle for him in 10th grade, or the last person who I dreamed of puppies with, I will never be rid of it. I have discovered that I am a woman who will forever hold her past loves close to her heart, and who will on occasion feel a tentacle reach from the past, suction to her heart and pull upon its strings.

And so I am left with a choice of perception.

Do I go forward forever carrying the chip on my shoulder of the relationship that ended because of a lack of commitment, or infedelity or the communication crisis that robbed me of both my lover and my friend... or do I look back and remember the good.

I realize it is my choice whether to continually open my wounds by resenting the hurts of my past, or to remember the fond times, treasure the lessons I so painstakingly came by and forgive the heartache. So, from now I will remember instead the late night dinners: muscles, soups, and Venetian pastas. I will remember the wealth of knowledge, learning about brush-stokes, composition and art history, about design, fashion history, energy orbs and the backstage secrets of Madonna concerts.

Relationships are about the coming together of two people, and so two steer the course of the vessel. But when the two once again divide we are once again the masters of our own course, only a little different, more experienced, hopefully wiser and better for it all. Each of my former partners has changed me into a different friend, partner and woman. Ultimately as I stand on my own two feet I get to chose how the rough seas of the past continue to dictate my course of exploration in the future.

And so I have chosen to sail boldly, to remember hard lessons learned but to still dream of thrill of unchartered waters without the shackles of resentment but instead with the wisdom of experience.

I chose for those lurches of emotion to not make me upset with what I devastation tore at my heart, but for them to let me remember that I did, that I do care.

So, I am responding to emails with notes of thanks for kind sentiments. I am passing apartments and choosing to smile, to giggle even at the memory of happy moments. I am choosing the good over the bad.

I am choosing to view my past in a way that is conducive with what I want to see in my future: hope, love, faith, compassion, kindness and honesty.

Picture of the Week

New Obsession

Spices have always proven to be an organizational problem in my house. The only favourable solution to spice storage was one developed by a close family friend and interior designer who installed an insert into what was to become a 'spice drawer' in her home. As this was not an option for me, I have been forced to search out the perfect solution to my spice woes. 

Stealing a page out a from a friend's book who used old small jam jars to store her spices, I headed to Home Hardware and purchased two sizes of mason jars to store my growing s

pice collection. The end result is well-sealed spice storage that is easily accessible by spoon or hand (for those moments when Jamie Oliver calls for a pinch of this or that). 

The labels were made from heavy card-stock, handwriting done by yours truly with a Steadler Brush Tip felt and invisible Scotch-tape (this way they can easily be peeled and re-labeled). 

Here are some other great Mason Jar ideas that I've come across since my new-found obsession. 

To the right are the light fixtures in the soon to open Sam James Coffee Bar, just down the street from my new place. 

Below to the left are some of the Mason-Jar displays put together by the geniuses behind the window displays at Anthropologie. 

So many pretty jars, so little time!! More jar-rific ideas to come!!

♥ B